God knows you better than you do.

You can be bold. You can even be real jerk. (Not that God wants you to be a jerk; because when you are, you often hurt others and undermine the truth.) God wants you to be as responsible as you can be. But all are irresponsible at times; error-laden, self-deceived, easily tricked by deceptive talkers and have been part of your own ego trip. God knows this better than you do and can count the countless times you didn't remember it. And God still saved you. If your worst didn't stop God, what are you afraid of?
"Living life to the fullest" isn't a matter of getting a steady stream of thrills, achieving one's 'bucket list', or traveling the world, or becoming rich, or accomplishing some big task. It's a matter of doing what you're here to do, taking care of what you're responsible for, giving love at each opportunity, and trusting the Spirit to lead you through it. When it comes to having a 'full life', it matters what your life is full of.
It's true of all. Each has had doubt that Christ has saved them, even when you have no cause to doubt. God is trying to teach you to live confidently in the gift of your rescue even when you doubt it. Those who Seek God can trust in the God who seeks them, you can be confident and trust that God is with you:

YOUR IN!
The world just keeps getting more complex, and no matter how complex you get you can never keep up. You just seem like an ever-smaller speck in the big picture. But God chose his son to become the same kind of speck you are - that's what Christ was all about – and God proceeded to show you just how meaningful and powerful a 'speck' could be, through Jesus, and then through His followers.

You're no speck to God. You're a partner, in the reshaping and rebirth of all that exists. You're like the reckless son who left and returned, or like the son who stayed; you're part of the family. You can have the assurance that God has you in mind in all of this. You're intended to be part of the whole, in Christ. This is the Big Picture, and you're in it !

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the LORD"
--------- Jeremiah 29:11-13